Great Wall of Carriage Poorly Thought Out

(Non-UConn readers might be a little confused here, but they have been issuing harsh regulations at an off-campusing housing complex that is the main area for parties)

By now everyone has either seen or heard of the Great Wall of Carriage that’s been erected outside the off-campus apartments. (Personally, I like the touch of yellow across the top that makes it look like the outfield wall of a rudimentary baseball field.) Additionally, the owners of the complex, in cooperation with the school and local authorities, have enacted a slew of bylaws aimed at supervising the community in a more manageable way. These measures include, among others, the aforementioned fence, the issuing of ID’s to residents and hiring a CA-type person to patrol the area on various nights. They don’t yet have helicopters looking for underage drinkers but I’ll be bringing it up at the next meeting.

An air of controversy has arisen amid the student body as it’s debatable whether these actions go too far and violate rights. In reality it is hard to fault the police or the school- their overall objective is just to keep us safe. It’s just like when you’re living at home. Whether you’re going out for the night or going to get the mail, your parents worry about you. My mother would stay up until I returned home no matter what hour I walked through the door. Even if I felt she went too far sometimes and was a bit overbearing, I could never fault her for any of her actions because her basic aim was to keep me alive.

The authorities around here can be looked at in the same light. I assume they just want to provide a safe community where cars stay upright and couches are used as furniture rather than kindling. But while it is understandable that they want to keep the student body out of harm, it’s hard to discern what they envision as their end result.

It appears that Carriage is seen as an unfettered orgy of overindulgent drinking and acrimonious violence that rivals a Hell’s Angels motorcycle rally or Woodstock crossed with a prison riot. This general wickedness scares people and, combined with the unfortunate stories that have recently shook the community, has shaped the pressure to further regulate the area. The fact of the matter is that Carriage is where, as the kids say today, “it all goes down.” The issue is that when designing a system of restraint there needs to be a practical goal.

Right now it seems that the “adults” quixotic ambition is to curb all illegal drinking activities whether its underage kids imbibing or making a beer pong shot with their elbow over the table. I live in Celeron and right after school started an officer visited every apartment building accompanied by ambassadors from UConn’s Student Services Department in order to lay down some general guidelines. Along with the other common drivel, their main sentiment was that they wanted to convince the student body that Carriage and Celeron is not Party Central because right now the community compares its stability and volatility to the Baghdad region.
This is all good and fine but while some might like to deny it, or at least try to avoid it, the truth is that this is a University and college students are an interesting animal. So far, what we know about the species is that they react very favorably to alcoholic beverages. They also like to congregate with other members of their kind in order to look for potential mates and play certain games that involve both potential mates and alcoholic beverages. They refer to these gatherings as parties or, colloquially, as ragers. Furthermore, it has been proven that nothing will stop these get-togethers, be it CA’s, cops or class five hurricanes. Research shows that the location doesn’t matter either. They have been seen assembling on lawns, in dorm rooms, bars and even parking lots.

Those who frequent the Discovery Channel know that when an animal’s habitat is destroyed they attempt to find another place to live and go about their business. If the Celeron and Carriage area gets tranquillized then a new hot spot will develop. The school is not going to eliminate social gatherings- it’s an impractical proposal. This is where the serious problem arises. Carriage and Celeron are within walking distance to campus as students usually take the infamous trail out there to get their partying fix. If the festivities begin to take place in other areas they will invariably be farther away from campus. This adds a whole new dynamic as students will secure transportation and this brings drinking and driving in to the equation.
Right now the school is taking these measures because they want to protect us from ourselves. They realize that being young and immature we tend to make decisions that can have fatal impacts. So what is to say that we won’t make these decisions when the parties move farther away? The current actions will only magnify the situation rather than mediate it.

This all harks back to my main point that the overall goal needs to be feasible. Right now it seems like they are looking for the metaphorical equivalent to world peace. While that sounds enchanting and might win points at a beauty pageant, there has to be a more amicable solution. Spring weekend is always a free-for-all each year but the last couple has gotten rave reviews for the way they have played out. The law keeps a keen eye out for trouble, but lets the parties take their course for the majority of the night. They set up an assortment of road blocks to look for drunk drivers, but they leave walkers alone as long as they aren’t clubbing other undergraduates or taking naps in wooded areas. Sure they bus in a lot more cops, but that is also because there are a lot more people. I think we will find our solution closer to this scenario rather than turning the Carriage district into a detention facility.