Thursday, February 14, 2008

MLB's Dog-and-Pony Show Solves Nothing

http://media.www.dailycampus.com/media/storage/paper340/news/2008/02/14/Commentary/Mlbs-DogAndPony.Show.Solves.Nothing-3210567.shtml

The Mitchell Report, baseball’s commissioned investigation into the sport’s steroid problem, read like a steamy novel written just for sports fanatics. I pored through it with the intensity of a love starved woman reading a Danielle Steel book. One of the more depressing aspects of the report’s release was that it was anticipated with a "Who Got Caught" type of buzz rather than "Who Used." Even so, the inclusion of Roger Clemens' (an All-Star pitcher and certain Hall of Famer) surprised many. His continued success had always been attributed to his intensely superior training regimen. Players descended on his house for workouts like individuals journeying to study with the Dalai Lama.

Clemens’ initially reacted with ferocious defiance, but with good reason. The only evidence against him was verbal testimony given by his former trainer Brian McNamee, essentially heresy. McNamee said he injected Roger with steroids repeatedly during the 1998, 2000 and 2001 seasons. Also paramount to the trainers story was his assertion that Clemens was introduced to the idea of using steroids by Jose Canseco (baseball’s crowned “Mr. Steroids”) while attending a party at Canseco’s house.

Now, as their hearing before House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform comes to a close, there still looks to be a measure of ambiguity to this soap opera.

I watched Wednesday’s hearings. It was in effect an angry mob of geriatrics closing in on a victim- except, they were not sure yet who that victim would be. In an effort to discover the truth, both individuals have been scrutinized under the brightest of lights. Frankly, McNamee comes off as anything but an upstanding individual. He used Clemens image to advertise his services as a trainer, without consulting the pitcher. He claimed to be a doctor after receiving a P.H.D. from a college that didn’t even have a campus. He took his courses through the mail making it, essentially, a diploma mill.

Roger’s legal team’s main offensive against McNamee involved disproving his story about Canseco’s party. They produced game footage in which the announcers discuss Clemens absence from that certain weekend’s festivities. Clemens also brought forward a receipt from the golf round that he claims to have played the morning that the steroids barbecue was taking place. This almost hindered his case as it seemed both ludicrous and downright humorous that he would keep accounting records as meticulously as he conducts his workouts.

But as disreputable as McNamee appeared, Clemens was even harder to believe. To combat Clemens claims of absence from the party, McNamee cited that the Clemens’ nanny was at the party and would agree with McNamee’s claims. He recommended that Congress find her and they requested her information from Clemens’ and his lawyers. Congress reiterated Wednesday that they repeatedly asked Clemens for her information throughout this past weekend but were only provided with the necessary contact info at the end of the weekend. When they talked to her, they were very startled to find out that she had been a visitor at Clemens’ house the previous day. She told them that he had implored her to “tell the truth.” While she said he might not have been at the party, he was at Conseco’s house at some point during that time period.

While this appears to be a smoking gun, the party really means nothing to the overall actions being scrutinized. For the time being, it is just speculation. But the strongest catalyst of the rampant speculation is the testimony of Andy Pettitte, Clemens’ former teammate and best friend. McNamee also claimed he had given Pettitte steroids, as well as former Yankee Chuck Knoblach. And both corroborated his story. It seems strange that McNamee would tell the truth about two players, but lie about another.

Pettitte also gave congress a deposition and he went as far as implicating Roger. He said that Clemens had explicitly told him about his steroids use. While it might seem shameful to rat on a friend, Pettitte is a religious man who answers to a higher authority and he has no reason to tell anything but the truth. Roger maintains that Pettitte misunderstood him, but this is not a matter of semantics.

This biggest piece of hard evidence is the syringes that McNamee finally handed over to congress last week. He claims he used them to inject Clemens with steroids. That’s right. He handed over syringes that he had, for some inexplicable reason, held onto for over five years. He kept dirty needles in his home for half a decade. One wonders how many times he moved during this time and had to go about packing up and unpacking his traveling virus collection. In any case, these could prove to be the smoking gun, but DNA and other tests are still pending.
If the tests don’t return conclusive proof of Clemens culpability then, ultimately it seems like this is going to amount to a glorified shouting match. It’s a vicious game of tug-of-war but neither side has the hard evidence to pull the other into the center. Perjury charges have been threatened against the loser, but since all the evidence is verbal testimony, each side has been proven to have massive holes in their stories and neither would hold up in court.

Both appear tarnished but are legally spotless, meanwhile, Major League Baseball is the real one being dragged through the mud. This continued drama only serves to keep twisting the knife in the wound that the Mitchell Report opened. It’s the reason that naming names was in reality, a bad decision. Rather than drag up past grievances both sides should have just admitted that grave mistakes were made and moved forward amicably to clean up the game.

Friday, February 8, 2008

When UFOs and the Bible Belt Collide

http://media.www.dailycampus.com/media/storage/paper340/news/2008/02/08/Commentary/When-Ufos.And.The.Bible.Belt.Collide-3197798.shtml

In mid-January, news crews flocked to the Bible Belt town of Stephenville, Texas as reports of local UFO sightings filtered through the airwaves. The former “dairy capital of Texas” now had a new calling card. ABC news reported that more than 30 residents reported seeing a flying object “described as a mile-wide, silent object with bright lights, flying low and fast.” City Councilman Mark Murphy said “A lot of folks aren't used to this kind of thing.” Which I guess is a good thing because then Stephenville, Texas might have been known as the first case of an entire town being admitted for mental evaluation.

A solitary sighting is never reported because those instances are usually filed away as deranged mental cases. The newsworthy cases are when there is a cluster of sightings. Most likely, initially one person reports their vision and then others to corroborate the story. I imagine it’s akin to being at a social gathering where someone says that they think they just heard a train. And then another person concurs with them. And then another. And soon everyone starts nodding their head in agreement and saying that they too heard some sort of noise and that it must have been a train. Then everyone realizes that there isn’t a train station within 20 miles…but they do happen to be really stoned and they laugh a lot and then go back to playing guitar hero. That’s what it’s like to be a part of a UFO sighting. Except the stoned friends don’t start calling news crews and reporting lost trains.

The other great aspect of a spaceship encounter, is that the so called “UFO Experts” come rushing onto the scene. It’s amazing that someone could call themselves an expert in a field that has no evidence backing up its existence. It’s like claiming to be an authority on ghosts or in using “the force.” Now, some of these individuals only study the general possibility of extra-terrestrial life. This is at least a reasonable field of study. They are looking for uncharted territories containing living beings and their research helps us learn about our surrounding universe. The crazies I’m talking about are the ones who stand firm in their belief that there is life in outer space that continually is trying to make contact with us even though they lack any discernable proof. They are merely rabid conspiracy theorists. Many of these people spent years studying to be historians or scientists only to suddenly and fervently begin to preach the existence of aliens. It is essentially a conversion to insanity; equivalent to being a science fiction writer for many years and then suddenly deciding to base an actual and allegedly legitimized religion around your fantastical writings.

While I stand behind my ardent cynicism I do concede the possibility that I am wrong. Maybe these are actually extraterrestrial visitors stopping by for a brief glimpse of our planet. Maybe they just don’t think it’s an appropriate time for a stop and chat, or maybe they saw Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” and the threat of global warming makes landing too risky of an enterprise.

I can only imagine how the parents of these alien historians reacted when told of their new scholarly pursuits. It must have been like going to a well respected educational institution to study accounting for four years and at the end telling mom and dad that you’ve decided to become a stand-up comedian. While parents are supposed to show undying support, this would surely test their limits.

This is why it seems pretty ironic that many of these occurrences happen within the Bible Belt- the ardently religious epicenter of the south. I say this because the way I react to the thought of UFO’s must have been just how Abraham’s wife reacted when he returned with stories of his long discussions with his so called “god.”


“I just talked to God”
“Really, what did he look like?”
“Well, I didn’t
see him”
“Huh?”
“Yea he just talked to me. From the
clouds”
“Listen Abe, maybe you should lay down for a while.”
“No I’m
serious. And he told me that he wanted me to sacrifice our son Isaac to
him.”


I’m not doubting the bible; I was raised a good little Jewish boy. I’m just saying that I bet he wasn’t greeted with backslaps and high fives. I could just see this scene going down in my house. My mom would have my dad in a straight jacket before he could say the word “exodus.”

How could you face your friends after reporting that you saw an alien spaceship? If one of my friends confessed this to me my first question would be if it was a good or bad acid trip. He might as well put on a cape, walk around with a wand and ask me to call him a magic wizard. But UFO reporting’s will never stop and they are not anything new either. Christopher Columbus reported seeing strange lights that intermittently appeared and disappeared in the sky during his various voyages. But remember, he also thought the world was flat.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Beasts of the East

UConn's student lottery determines who gets season tickets and which seats they get - consequently, at the Monday night men's basketball game against Louisville I found myself sitting three rows from the ceiling, essentially hanging from the rafters. The term 'nosebleed section' seems a little outdated - I've sat in many upper rows and never seen an outbreak of nasal hemorrhaging - but if you took one faulty step at this height, a nosebleed would have been the least of your worries. The school's seven national championship banners were hanging straight ahead of me, a sobering reminder of our programs' past successes in comparison to the men's recent struggles.
I’m probably being a bit melodramatic. It’s been less than two years since UConn was in the Sweet Sixteen with their sights locked in on a title. But that round’s crushing loss to George Mason sent the program into a vicious downward spiral. It was one of the biggest upsets in recent men’s basketball history. A scarily talented team that seemed a lock for the finals was knocked off by a mid-major. That just doesn’t happen, and coupled with the loss of the Huskies' top six players, it left them as shell-shocked as a man having his house robbed immediately followed by his wife leaving him.

Continue reading at The Campus Word.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Reggie Bush is Not Alone

A book released last week called “Tarnished Heisman” decries New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush as a cheater. Around the time Bush was shopping for his draft suit, allegations first surfaced claiming he had been living the life of a professional superstar during the 2004 and 2005 seasons while he was still only an amateur at the University of Southern California.

His benefactor, and the book’s primary source, was a sports marketing agent who provided Bush and his family with hotel stays, cash for shopping sprees, and money to buy and customize a car. This was all in pursuit of getting the 20-year old to sign with his company once he left school for the NFL.

The NCAA is very strict about players maintaining their amateur status. Collecting any sort of benefit while still a student is one of the cardinal sins in the world of college sports; it’s the equivalent of plagiarism in the academic world. They wouldn’t even allow University of Colorado football player Jeremy Bloom to collect endorsement money from his professional ski racing career, even though it was his only way of staying competitive in the alpine sport. If the accusations about Bush are proven true, he would lose his Heisman Trophy and the Trojans would have to retroactively forfeit all wins from his era, including the national championship they won.

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