Friday, December 1, 2006

Marc's Sentra

As s Sunday football couch potato I am bombarded with a fair share of commercials that make me want to hurl sharp objects at my television set. Congress and old people everywhere have argued vehemently against the violent video games and loud music that is apparently tearing this country to shreds but they have looked past these crass advertisements that I think are doing as much damage as anything else. Aside from the Chevrolet commercial where John Mellencamp reminds us that “this is our country” and that Chevy Trucks embody all the ideals of “our country,” the commercial that really catches my eye is the one for the new Nissan Sentra. The marketers at Nissan have evidently decided that people will forget to buy their cars if the commercial is not shown 767 times daily so I’m sure you’ve seen it at least once. In case you don’t own a television set, the series of commercials depicts an evidently troubled young man named “Marc Horowitz” who has decided to live in his new Nissan Sentra for seven days. He spells out the rules to his endeavor and then proceeds to film his exploits during this “experiment.”

His first rule is that he cannot return to his apartment. Now this rule is laughable and almost insulting as it is evident that this man definitely does not own any sort of living area. He has decided to live in a car the size of a commercial washing machine. Anyone that makes this move is either mentally unstable, or homeless. Now some may argue that maybe Nissan has paid him to live in the car for seven days, and afterwards he will go back to his comfortable home. First of all, he does not mention this anywhere in the commercial and his attitude and general demeanor give off the vibe that this is something more personal than just a ploy for money, but I will entertain this suggestion for a moment. If this is indeed true, then the people at Nissan are the delusional ones. What would be their purpose in proving that someone could live in this car for seven days and who would they be advertising this to? What percentage of the market is looking for cars they can sleep in? I always thought that the people who are currently living out of or are making the move to live out of their car, are not in the market for a new vehicle. Also, if you are actually basing your car buying decisions on whether you could live out of the automobile or not, I suggest taking a step back and maybe evaluating a few more life decisions. Even if they still are directing their advertising towards people who want to inhabit their rides, maybe this isn’t the best message to send to America. Maybe it’s just me but when I see people living in their cars, the word freedom doesn’t immediately come to mind. Let’s move on.

The second regulation Marc must abide by is that he must continue to work his job during his week in the Sentra. Again, this rule seems like an attack on America’s intelligence. To think that this man, who is currently living out of his car, could hold down a steady job is ludicrous. His shaggy haircut and unkempt appearance would not fly in any workplace other than a 7-11. At one point in the commercial it does show him working on a laptop, suggesting that he works from “home”, but the commercial does not explain where he stole this laptop from or whose wireless internet he is pirating in order to get his daily dose of porn. If he does indeed have a job, why can’t he drive to it during the day and work, and then sleep in his car? Did he tell his boss that he could not come in for the week because he has to dwell in his coupe? Did he also tell his boss that he had to do this because he is now homeless, and if so, why did his boss not let him sleep in the office? For those that say that Nissan is paying him, why would he accept the offer if he already has a job that he apparently can do from home? There are too many inconsistencies and unanswered questions, but I digress.

Now his next rule may be an attempt at comedy but it comes off more pitiful than anything. He says that he must go on one date during this week. Any women out there looking to date a homeless, jobless man living out of his car…anyone? That’s what I thought. Now this is compounded by the fact that since he is a vagrant he probably has very little money to use for this date and it will probably just come down to him making awkward advances on her in the back of his Sentra. The commercial actually does show him picking up a woman for a date, but they don’t mention how much she is being paid. As she gets into the car she is immediately a bit confused and asks him if he lives in the car, to which he replies, “yes and no.” Parents, is this how you want your children to learn how to treat women, by lying to them just to get in their pants. Marc sickens me.

He also states, a little too proudly, that he has to sleep at a different location each night. This one comes more out of necessity than anything else as who is going to let a social miscreant sleep in his car on their property. He would be in jail by the second night, and that would not make a great Nissan commercial. He also says that he has to find a different place to shower each day and then it shows him using various methods, involving sprinklers, and bottles of water. Does this man not have any friends? Are all his cohorts homeless too? Why is Nissan making him videotape evidence of his lack of friends? If this man ever does manage to have children I’m sure they will love the video of daddy bathing himself on someone’s front lawn

His last rule is that he must host at least one social function in his “residence”. Come on Nissan, this man has no money, no home, no job, and not even any friends to invite over. What sort of function is going to take place if he does lure three strangers into his car? You might as well call the car the Nissan Sex Crime. Something needs to be done about this atrocious, misuse of television advertising. I’d help out, but I’m too busy moving all my belongings into my new Sentra.